Backyard Patio and Garden Tour
Hi Garden friends!
Where oh where do I start? I have been wanting to show you all the updates around the yard, but trying to keep it pristine, weed free and free of dog poo is a full time job.
Apparently so is pooping, going by the amount I am cleaning up from Blitz. I think flies are literally coming in from England for this damn dog.
Also, I have a Weirdo Magnet Episode for ya. I know it's been awhile, I was shocked I went this long too but this one is a doozy. So y'all better be wearing waterproof mascara. I'll go over the yard first.
I want to get the soaker hoses all dialed in before I add more. There's a limit on how far you can run soaker hose and I don't want to over burden it and then it not work.
I still need to re-mulch a lot of areas because I have also been planting back here and we went a "light" with the mulch this year because I knew we'd be doing this.
The funeral for him is Tuesday when the garbage man picks up his ashes.
You'll also want to notice how tall the Birch Tree is. That bad boy has grown about 4 to 5 feet since I bought him back in 2017!
I planted Little Boo pumpkin and a regular pumpkin vine in this corner and they are loving this spot. I've have to lay down some bait for the squash bugs. It seems to be working thank goodness!
Ok, now for the weirdo magnet story.
I took my MIL to a doctor appointment and while waiting for her in the waiting room I got to meet (let's call him Wilson after the soccer ball in the movie Castaway) Wilson. Wilson had a male friend with him. Let's call Wilson's friend Levi. Wilson was pretty lathered up as soon as he walked in about Levi's hands. You see, upon Levi checking in with the receptionist, it was way past time for him to wash his hands apparently. There was a severity of the situation that no one understood, not even Levi. Because Wilson was dead dog serious that Levi needed to wash his hands immediately!
"Wash your hands, you need to wash. Wash them, they are dirty! wash wash wash them" Now due to the urgency of this, Wilson stood at the water fountain, turning it on and flicking the small stream of water at Levi until he complied. Neither one of them noticing that the door 8" away from the water fountain said Men's Room. Now, at this point being there without a police escort and having just watched two news stories about shootings. My mind started to wonder and wander.
This could end really funny, or really tragic.
How much of a wack a doo is this guy and I hope he is harmless. I was hoping for harmless. Upon Levi complying with the new hand washing policy that apparently Wilson demanded at the last minute, Levi found a chair and sat down. Wilson did not. He paced, paced paced. He paced until he saw an old cigarette butt underneath a strangers chair. The strangers name is Dennis. I know this because when the nurse came out 5 minutes later and yelled Dennis, Dennis promptly got up and left me there with frick and frack.
Back to the cigarette butt. Wilson sees it underneath Dennis' chair, and RUNS towards him and snatches the butt up and starts yelling and got 8" away from Dennis's face. "Do you know how bad smoking is for you? Do you know it can kill? I'm with the City Health Department of the FBI! There's no smoking in the room! Is this yours?" To which Dennis looked up from playing a game on his cell phone, pointed to his ear and said I can't hear you dude.
My mind immediately thought: Oh great you jackass. Let's lather him up some more.
Wilson looks at me and asks What'd he say?!? To which my smart ass responds: No Hable Ingles. Wilson points at me and yells "You're exactly right!" Oh boy....
Fast forward to both Dennis and Levi now getting called in to go see the doctor. It's me and Wilson and the innocent water fountain left in the waiting room.
That's when the fight started.
Now to be honest. I missed some of it. Because it was happening inside Wilson's head where none of us want inside, believe me! One minute I'm listening to dings on my cell phone from social media and the next he was lunging at the water fountain and yelling at it. Now if questioned by the cops, I will tell them that the water fountain started it, because that is what Wilson was yelling.
"You're not going to win this argument, I told you not to mention that! What did you say to me! Dirty, so dirty! White people aren't this dirty! They don't smoke, drink or do drugs! Dirty!!! Why are black people so dirty!"
At this point I am on the fence. Half of me is rooting for the water fountain. The other half is coming up with a self defense strategy should this go down hill. I'm going over the contents of my purse in my head, and what hard objects I can use to stab either the water fountain or Wilson with, should the need arise. The receptionist is now FINALLY starting to pay attention and I ask her "Do you think he is ok". To which she replies "What's he doing?"
In my head I'm thinking: Oh great. I'm on my own here.
I start wondering should I stay still like there's a T-Rex in the room, if I don't move he won't see me? Or should I just say Bye Bye to the wack a doo and go wait for my MIL in my car and hope she can out run him. Wilson all of a sudden runs to the middle of the room and starts dispensing hand sanitizer into his hands.
A LOT!!
He made two trips to the hand sanitizer station to fill his hands and then dumped it on the water fountain. "Dirty, it's dirty. Gotta clean it" He kept yelling and muttering. When I say he literally had a 14" high mound of foamy soap in his hand and was SCRUBBING the water fountain ALL OVER? I am not joking. I can't make this up! After a five minute wash he seemed to calm down enough to ask the receptionist to make sure he was checked in properly, gave her his social security number which consisted of all 9's and walked outside and disappeared.
That was my Monday at the doctors office, how was yours?
